Monday, March 6

Jude's Law's 6 and 7 (aka JudesMommy's Rules... name change suggested by the very witty Thomas D.)

6. From now on be absolutely SURE the little, twisty, slidey cap thingy on the parmesan cheese is entirely twisty slid closed. Because, no matter what part of the house your Toddler is in, as soon as you open the fridge door, they will magically appear with superfast hands pulling out everything at eye level faster than you can say "cheez whiz". This, I've determined is due to a Toddler's superhuman hearing (which is selective and, of course, is in "off" mode when you actually WANT them to come to you, even at this early age). This rule does not apply so much to screw cap items (you know, that jar of jalapeno pickles from 2003 that seemed like such a yummy idea that day you stupidly broke that Don't Go Grocery Shopping Starving rule). Results of breaking Jude's Law # 6 (as I discovered this weekend): Toddler + Half twisty slid closed parmesan + Toddler closing eyes and shaking for all he is worth = You + Your Kitchen envloped in a sudden weather event we here now call a Parmesoon. Pleeeaase learn from my mistakes! Memorize this formula. It will serve you well in the future.

7. Opening the freezer door too early in the morning may cause you to be doomed to the fate of feeding your Toddler a fudgesicle for breakfast. Yeah, it will be pretty much counterproductive to insist on those organic, wild berry, waffles at that point, doing so will only cause a tug of war that might end up in a Fudgicane (apply Jude's Law #6).

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