Wednesday, March 21

It's 11AM, Has Anyone Seen My Xanax?

Just kidding, I don't take Xanax. But if anyone can hook me I'm kidding again.

I think.

This morning started out so great. Routine smoothly falling into place, happy happy Jude Jude.

Then I made the mistake of sitting him down to watch Go, Diego Go! for half an hour so that I could get a little work done early.

Like I said M-I-S-T-A-K-E. And yes, that's all caps.

Please explain to me how one small human can turn a house upside down in the span of less than 45 minutes? Let's not even mention the fact that even with our smooth as Ex-Lax routine this morning we had to have a muffins turned birthday cupcakes breakfast party this morning. Candles and all. Mind you, I have no idea whose birthday it is.

And could someone also explain why we have to strip completely naked, including yanking off our socks, before we go sit on the potty? Which, of course, nothing actually ended up IN the potty. But, having decided that doing chores in the buff is best, we went streaking through the house mopping the carpet, sweeping the kitty food bowls, assisting with our laundry by sending the full basket tumbling down the stairs and because we have such a love of nature, deciding that the almost as big as we are watering can needed to be filled, and the incredibly realistic looking plants watered.

Where was I during all this? Oh I was sooo trapped on a conference call. Judge all you want. I was doing that thing that, you know, gives me a paycheck so I can feed this child birthday muffin cupcakes.

Had enough? I know I had. So after chasing him down and tricking him back into his clothes and actually getting him driven all the way to his nursery school, we decide that it's time to play Make Mommy Chase Me and run back out of the building TWICE before mommy scoops him up and carries him under her arm all the way to his classroom while the Director and Assistant Director watch with eyes as big as saucers. I'm sure they were astonished that they were witnessing this from the mommy who had been in the office of the Director multiple times discussing the adverse affects of too much of the use of the word "No!" And reminding them that she does not advocate it's liberal use.

Ever heard of the cliche "Eat your words"? Yeah, I had mine for breakfast, which is why I'm thinking Xanax for lunch.

Thursday, March 15

Recklessly Seeking the Prime Directive

So, as someone only two years, three months, three weeks, six hours and two minutes into this mommy game, give it to me straight. What's the one best piece of advice you would give me to take on my journey into unknown terrain called mommyhood?

Come on now...don't hold out on me, spill!

Tuesday, March 13

It's a BLOG!!!

We love the birth of a new mommyblog! Especially a blog starring people near and dear to our hearts.

Cruise on over to The Ricker House and keep tabs on Jude's cousin's antics as they unfold.

Welcome to mommyblogging, MamaRicker!

Jude-Experiment: Gravity & The Physics of Baby Gates

Last night, while at opposite ends of the house, there was a simultaneous parental running response to what sounded very much like the squealing of a stuck pig.

Followed by what sounded very much like a mommy and daddy doubled over in laughter.

After having been greeted by the vision of a toddler, on his belly, stuck halfway under a baby gate at the top of the arm reaching like Stretch Armstrong for the milk he had experimentally thrown OVER the gate...yelling "Moke! Mo-o-o-oke! Moke!!"

Ben, gasping for breath from laughter, "Indiana Jones, you're NOT!"

We're guessing it'll be a while before you're ready to go on dangerous hunts for archaeological treasures, Jude.

Saturday, March 10

Hey Jude

OK, I'll come clean Little Man. I confess that the thought of going out of town for work for a few days leaves me daydreaming about full nights of blissful, uninterrupted sleep, having only myself to dress and feed and well...all sorts of decadent imaginings.

Decadent imaginings of mundane things that, pre-Jude, I took for granted. Took so for granted, in fact, that I had no idea how for granted they were being taken!

Ahhhh, all these sweet, sweet imaginings. They are all good and fine until I reach my intended destination and fall exhausted into an empty, cold, often too hard or too soft, hotel bed. At which point, I proceed to toss and turn, flip and flop trying to drift into that long awaited, aforementioned night of blissful, uninterrupted sleep.

Invariably, my fantasy is shattered because all I can think of is how much I want to kiss your soft, freshly bathed, smelly good self over and over, snuggling up to you while I close my eyes and fall into exhausted mommy slumber.

You've ruined me for life, but oh how good it is to be ruined.