Friday, May 19

Of "All Things Considered"...This One I Would Never Have Suspected

Of ALL THINGS in this entire house that we decide we must take to school with us this morning or we will die a thousand deaths...the toilet brush scrubber.

I was calm at first, I let him walk out and get into the car with it...OK, no big deal. He usually gets bored with his morning procurement and relinquishes custody before the ride is over. But today, anxiety began to set in on the way as I kept one eyeball rearviewed on him sitting ever so happily in his very cosmopolitan Eddie Bauer carseat(only for the revolutionary new safety, comfort and durabiliy features, c'mon!)clutching his prized toilet brush scrubber. I could tell already, this wouldn't end well.

By the time we pulled into the school parking lot it would have taken a whole BOTTLE of anti-anxiety meds and a couple of chocolate bars to keep me calm enough to refrain from instigating the guerilla warfare that broke out when I tried to relieve the insurgent of his lavatory cleaning utensil. The rebel yell that came out of him, I am positive, was heard by every single golden ager being detained in the Retirement "home" next to the school. Most likely causing a moment of detention center wide chaos as morning prune juice went flying everywhere.

After peeling each finger off of the toilet brush handle and beating a hasty retreat up the sidewalk and into school while he was making sure everyone knew his mother had just ripped his most precious thing in life away from him, I...was...a...wreck.

All this before having to log on at work and see how my project was, yet again, in fubar mode...wait, I hope he doesn't hold a grudge and put ME in a "home" 50 years from now!

1 comment:

kevin said...

Just one man's opinion, but I think you should have let him have the brush for show-and-tell. He obviously had a reason for wanting to take the toilet brush to school. Maybe he wanted to show everyone what he used to fish your tootbrush out of the toilet that morning!

Have a great day!